Here’s how I imagine the first day of school going…
Beautiful.
Everyone is dressed.
Everyone is smiling.
Everyone has their backpacks.
Nobody has forgotten anything.
Mom is rested, prepared, caffeinated, and absolutely in control of her life.
The children are excited to start a new school year, and we’re all going to take a sweet little first-day picture before everyone heads out the door.
Maybe I’ll even have time to drink my coffee while it’s still hot.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Yeah.
So anyway…
Let me tell you what the first day of school actually looked like.

It technically started last night.
I finally got the call I’d been waiting for about what van Louie would be riding in this year and what time they’d be picking him up.
7:55 AM.
Great!
Except Kalli is supposed to be at school at 8:00 AM.
And her school is about fifteen minutes away.
But that’s okay. I’ve already warned her school that she is probably going to be late every day because there is no transportation help available for her.
I’m the coordinator, remember?
I just figure shit out as I go.
Thankfully, she’s in preschool and they’re not exactly standing at the door with a stopwatch.
So I thought, Okay. After I get everybody down for the night, I need to find clothes for tomorrow.
I had just washed a bunch of clothes, but when you’re doing laundry for five kids and yourself, “I washed clothes” does not mean “everyone has clothes.”
It means there are approximately seventeen baskets of laundry sitting around waiting to be sorted.
Except Kalli asked for cuddles.
And apparently I lost that battle.
I fell asleep before she did.
So much for sorting laundry.
Fast forward to this morning.
I wake up in a panic.
Now I have to:
Find clothes for everyone.
Get Kalli her breathing treatment and shake vest—which is a half-hour process before you even count setting everything up.
Make sure all of Louie’s sensory equipment is packed in his backpack.
Make sure the older three boys shower.
Get the older two out the door by 7:00 AM.
Get Kalli ready.
Get myself ready.
And somehow get Louie ready for his first day at a brand-new school.
So naturally, at 6:45 AM, we take our first-day-of-school picture.
And somehow…
It actually looked beautiful.
Everyone was dressed. Everyone was smiling. The kids looked happy.
It looked like we had our shit together.
Hudson wasn’t actually going to school that day because he had an appointment with his specialist, but obviously he still needed to be in the picture because he will be going tomorrow.
Five kids.
Five backpacks.
First day of school.
Everybody smiling.
For approximately thirty-seven seconds.
Then the real day started.
Louie’s van arrived late, and the driver was apologizing over and over.
I told her, “It’s okay! It’s a new school year, new pickup routes, and there’s ALWAYS construction happening around here. I get it. Don’t worry about it.”
Louie got into the van and immediately started talking everyone’s ears off.
And honestly?
I was relieved.
I’d much rather have that side of Louie show up than the side that’s terrified and hiding.
His first day at a brand-new school was starting with him being comfortable enough to talk.
I’ll take that win.
I quickly grabbed Hudson and Kalli and got them into the van.
Hudson was already at approximately level 100 for the day.
I’m pretty sure I’d already heard 47 stories, and one of them somehow happened while I was simply sticking my head into the bathroom to grab a washcloth while he was showering.
So I turned on music.
Because the only time Hudson isn’t telling a story is when he’s singing.
And Mom’s brain needed approximately three minutes of silence.
We got to Kalli’s school, and she was absolutely fine.
Of course, I had mentally prepared for every possible scenario.
She might cry.
She might cling to me.
She might not want me to leave.
She might decide today is the day she hates school.
So I said, “Kalli, give Mommy a hug and kiss. I have to go now.”
She looked at me and said:
“Okay, Mom! Bye!”
…
Excuse me?
That’s it?
No tears?
No clinging?
No dramatic goodbye?
Sheesh. Hurt my feelings a little, why don’t you.
😂
Fine.
Off to the next task.
Hudson and I had about an hour and fifty minutes before his first appointment, and we had to drive about an hour and a half to get there.
Obviously, this meant we needed Dunkin.
I needed another coffee.
Hudson wanted a green tea and something to eat.
Check.
Coffee acquired.
Green tea acquired.
Food acquired.
Back onto the highway.
We’re about thirty minutes away from where we need to be when the doctor’s office calls.
The doctor had called out sick.
The doctor wasn’t going to be there.
I’d already been driving for an hour.
I was now closer to the appointment than I was to home.
So when they asked if I could see another doctor in the office at 1:00 instead, I basically said:
“Yep. I’ll figure it out.”
Because apparently that’s my entire personality.
I’ll figure it out.
Except now I also had to figure out who was going to pick Kalli up from school because she gets out at 2:00, and there was no way in hell I was going to make it home in time.
I called her dad.
Thankfully, he was able to grab her.
Crisis averted.
Again.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, Hudson decided it was time to discuss his future.
For a long time, he wanted to be a police officer.
Then he wanted to join the military.
Today?
Today he decided he wants to be a lawyer.
Honestly, probably not a terrible career choice for him.
This kid wants to know everything about everything and could talk for approximately seventeen hours without needing to breathe.
So now I am answering questions about:
What he needs to do to become a lawyer.
How much money lawyers make.
What kind of lawyer he could be.
Whether he can practice trials with me.
And, because apparently we need a backup plan, whether he could do something like the Space Force if the lawyer thing doesn’t work out.
Buddy.
You’re in fifth grade.
You have some time.
While we’re driving, Louie’s BC texts me.
Apparently, one of the students at his new school had told the class that her mom was having a baby.
Louie apparently decided this was the perfect opportunity to inform the entire classroom that his mom will have another baby someday—but only when he tells her she can.
My response was simple.
“FUCK NOOOO.”
That was literally the entire text.
😂
We get through the first appointment, and honestly, it went quickly.
While we’re there, Louie’s BC calls me.
Of course I answer.
It’s his first day at a brand-new school.
I need to know how he’s doing.
And the news?
Really good.
Louie was already making friends.
Some of the kids were nervous about some of the noises he makes, but his BC explained that they didn’t need to be afraid and that it was okay to politely ask him to stop if the noises were bothering them.
One little girl asked him.
Louie said, “Oh, okay!”
And stopped.
But then they were getting ready for lunch, and this little girl stopped and thought about what Louie might need.
She knew he was new.
She knew the cafeteria could be loud.
And she remembered that he uses headphones.
So she said:
“Louie! I know you’re new here, but the cafeteria can get really loud. You may want to get your headphones. Do you want me to get them for you?”
And Louie’s response?
“Oh, thank you! That’s a good idea! I’m gonna remember you forever!”
And honestly?
That one got me.
Those are the moments that make everything else worth it.
A little kid taking the time to notice another kid’s needs and help him feel safe.
On his first day.
I’ll remember that one forever, too.
Okay.
Back to Hudson.
We finished the appointment and walked our paperwork back to the van.
We still had about two hours before his next appointment.
So we went back inside, got his blood work done, and headed to the cafeteria for lunch.
I’m sitting there minding my own business, eating my food, when Hudson says:
“Mom, look.”
And then he starts giggling.
I already know this giggle.
This is not an innocent giggle.
This is a Mom is about to have to pretend she’s not laughing giggle.
He’s holding up a chicken tender.
“Ha ha. It’s a dick-shaped chicken.”
I looked at it.
He wasn’t wrong.
It had balls and everything.
So.
There’s that.
😂
After lunch, we still had some time.
I figured we’d listen to three songs, go use the bathroom, and then head to the next appointment.
The appointment went great.
At the end, Hudson had questions.
Because of course he did.
The doctor had a picture on the wall showing the inside of an ear.
You know the one.
The giant, colorful diagram you see in basically every doctor’s office.
Hudson wanted to know what everything was.
And this doctor—bless his soul—actually went through the entire thing with him.
Every part.
What it was.
What it did.
How the ear worked.
Hudson was fascinated.
And honestly?
So was I.
Then we had to go get an X-ray of his neck.
The X-ray was done.
And…
You guessed it.
Hudson had questions.
How does the machine work?
What does it look like?
How does it take the picture?
How do they know what they’re looking at?
This sweet technician actually took him into the back and showed him his own X-ray.
He explained how everything worked and showed Hudson what they were looking at.
So yes, Hudson missed school today.
But he also learned approximately one million things.
And honestly?
So did I.
I swear I don’t drive an hour and a half for these appointments for no reason.
Every person in that building was unbelievably kind.
We finally headed home.
Hudson must have been completely exhausted because he slept the entire way back.
I pulled into the house with two minutes to spare before Louie’s van arrived to drop him off.
And apparently Louie had already made quite the impression.
His van driver is obsessed with him.
She told him to bring a box of snacks tomorrow that she could keep in the van just for him.
And she told him she can’t wait to hear all of his stories tomorrow.
So apparently he’s already got a fan club.
😂
We got everyone back into the house.
Schylar and Landon had practice, so they headed out.
The younger two boys had done everything they were supposed to do, so they earned some video game time.
And Kalli and I sat on the couch watching TV while I took a 15-minute emergency power nap.
Because apparently the day had taken a little bit out of me, too.
Then I got up.
Made dinner.
The boys came home from practice.
And we did our first-day-of-school tradition.
Ice cream.
We’ve done this since Schylar started kindergarten.
Every year on the first day of school, we go out for ice cream so the kids can tell everyone they love about their first day at the same time, with the same excitement.

And one of the things I’m genuinely proud of is that this tradition has stayed a co-parenting tradition.
Their dads are part of it.
We all show up.
We all sit together.
We all get to hear about the first day.
And whatever our adult relationships may look like, the kids get to experience something really simple:
Mom and Dad(s) showing up for them.
That’s something I’m proud of.

And tonight?
It felt a little different.
Because I realized something.
After tonight, I only have one more of these celebrations with all five kids.
Next year, Schylar will be a senior.
Next year will be his last first day of school.
And suddenly, this stupid little ice cream tradition that we’ve been doing for years felt a whole lot bigger.
So I soaked it in.
I took way too many pictures.
I listened to their stories.
Although, admittedly, the stories are a little different now that the older boys are teenagers.
I asked them what their favorite class was so far.
Their answer?
“Lunch.”
Rolls eyes.
Of course it was.
😂
But there were still plenty of laughs.
Plenty of jokes.
And, because apparently we can’t have a family outing without somebody saying something completely inappropriate, when the girl gave us our total, Kalli looked at her and announced:
“I just farted.”
And there it is.
The perfect ending.
Okay. Now THAT is what the first day actually looked like.
Not the perfect picture.
Not the matching schedules.
Not the calm morning.
Not the mom who had everything under control.
It was late vans, missed appointments, backup childcare, laundry, coffee, medical equipment, questions, chicken tenders shaped like dicks, future career plans, sensory headphones, new friends, exhausted kids, practice, ice cream, fart jokes, and me somehow keeping all of the plates spinning.
It was chaos.
It was exhausting.
It was loud.
It was messy.
It was sometimes completely ridiculous.
But it was also Louie making friends on his first day.
It was a little girl noticing what he needed and helping him feel safe.
It was Hudson discovering new things and asking a million questions.
It was Kalli confidently saying goodbye and walking into school without looking back.
It was five kids growing up right in front of me.
And it was one more first-day-of-school ice cream night with all five of my babies.
So yeah.
Welcome to the first day of school in our house.
Chaos and all.
And honestly?
I wouldn’t change a damn thing.